Sometimes it's just harder to appreciate though. How sad. I think my brain is just a little warped these days. It will pull itself back into shape sooner or later though...I hope it's sooner.
I'm letting anxiety paralyze me lately. It's so hard knowing that the worries that are consuming me are *not* worth making myself miserable over and yet being totally incapable of stopping it all. And the stupid cycle that I find myself in, the seeming overwhelmingness of everything, the guilt I feel over everything that I'm not getting done...*sigh*
The head-start I'd had with homeschooling prep is fast dissipating and as much as I love homeschooling Gray and Annie, there is a certain resentment over how much of my life it seems to eat up. Feeling that resentment makes me feel guilty. I've opened up both google reader and my email a few times over the last several days and felt so utterly overwhelmed that I've just shut them off without connecting with anyone. And of course, the more emails I fail to respond to and the more posts I fail to read, the guiltier I feel. The one thing I want more than anything right now is to move (I hate our neighborhood so much!), and I have a list of hundreds of little things and big things to do to help that happen. The list leaves me feeling overwhelmed, especially when it seems things get added to it faster than they get taken off. So I feel guilty for feeling so miserable about our living situation when I don't seem to be doing anything to change it. My brain seems to have left town. To the point that it's sort of scary. I know some of it is because I can't sleep. More guilt--if I could just sleep, then I'd be a more productive person.
I know it's counterproductive to hate myself for being miserable, but I can't seem to turn off the ugly voices.
So here we go...a look at how lucky I really am...a glance at the things that are good...a reminder that I have much to be grateful for...
*I put all my canning supplies away until next year. Not that I mind canning. But it is time-consuming. And while I didn't get as much canned this summer/fall as I'd hoped, I did okay:
--12 half pints of strawberry jam
--6 pints of blueberry jam
--6 pints of blackberry jam
--16 quarts of tomatoes
--5 pints of salsa
--35 pints and 7 quarts of applesauce
--1 half pint and 12 pints of apple butter
*Joann.com had their yarn on sale so I ordered some for gifts. It arrived--and there is just something so happy about a box of yarn.
*Today was library day again. Sometimes I think we should just go to the library every day--I just feel less stressed while I'm there.
*We've kept up our Monday night RIP picture book reading since early September. Each of the kids reads a picture book aloud, then I finish up with a chapter from our current read. Last night we started early so we'd have time to watch The Corpse Bride afterwards. Believe it or not, it was the first time I've ever seen that movie. Aren't I pathetic? But hey, better late than never, right?
So how about you? What's your good stuff right now?
