Wednesday, April 11, 2012

slowly, slowly...

...progress is being made around here. My state of mind has definitely improved, even if the overwhelming amount of things to be done is...well, still overwhelming. I'm simply trying to change that dialogue in my head, those conversations I have with myself about how I'm failing at everything.

"I am doing the best I can. I am doing the best I can. I am doing the best I can. I am doing the best I can." New message. True message. And as long as I keep focusing on the fact that it's true, I seem to be doing better.

Yes, it's true that this place is still nowhere near cleaned up, it's true that I'm ridiculously behind on home school planning, it's true that there unpacked boxes stacked nearly ceiling high in places and that we have a small storage unit full that we haven't even moved over yet, it's true that my body is in such a painful state of rebellion that it literally takes me almost three minutes to climb a flight of stairs these past few days...but it is also true that I *am* doing the best I can. And remembering that makes a world of difference.

Rich and the munchkins left yesterday afternoon for a few days of camping. The peace and quiet has already been conducive for "brain" work--I finished Annie's and Gray's quarterly reports. :) I hope to further take advantage of the lack of interruptions by diving into planning/prep for our last quarter. But I also promised Rich that I would take one full day to just relax. To read, to crochet, to catch up on blogs. But yikes! When I opened google reader this morning and saw just how far behind I was, it turned into a stress thing instead of relaxing thing in my mind. So yep, "mark all as read"...again. :( So I've decided to make today home school day and tomorrow relax day because tomorrow there will be a manageable amount of blog posts to read. That said, can I ask a favor? If there's any posts I've missed in the past few weeks that you think I should read, or any posts you think I'd love to read, could you just mention them in the comments so I can check them out. Thank you!!!

I'm almost embarrassed to show these. "These" being before pics of the state of this house when we first walked in. I swear the previous owners not only never lifted a finger to clean anything after they got our offer on the house, but they must have gone out of their way to make things worse. Seriously, who the hell effing lives like this?!! :/

Pics of kitchen drawers and cupboards. And yes, that is mouse shit.

The floors everywhere were just left like this, with not only dust and dirt, but all kinds of crap they just didn't bother to pick up (golf tees, bobby pins, beads, plastic bags, bottle caps, etc. etc. etc.).

And then there were the places on the floor that were even worse. We've no idea *what* this was (spilled corn syrup? dog vomit? something even more disgusting?) but there were a couple places just like this.

The drawers and cabinets throughout the garage.

And a lovely pile of shit they left that we now have to deal with--you know what a pain it is to dispose of paint (either open them and let the paint all harden or wait for one of the rare days when they have a hazardous materials disposal, the paint isn't even usable so we donate it to a drama club for their sets or anything) and it's going to cost us about $70 to dispose of the old air conditioner they left. That cupboard in the left of the photo--also filled with paint cans.

But anyway. As I said, we're slowly, slowly making the house livable. Making the house home. As utterly exhausted as it's made me and as hard as it's been on my body, I do think that after we're finally settled in, I'll be taking a few months off before I begin the painting and other projects I have floating around in my brain. After all, we have gardens to get in soon, too! :)


Amanda said...

Definitely you need some time to relax!! Wow, that looks like a lot of work.

Normally I don't mention posts even when people ask for them, but I figure I should this time. My last three posts have been all pictures from the cruise-honeymoon. Lots of pics of J and me. :) No need to comment on them or anything, but i thought they might make you smile. :)

Trish said...

I am appalled! The previous owners should be simply ashamed at the condition in which they left the house. Anyway, yes, you can do it and the best you can do is the best you can do. It'll all work out in the end. But I do hope that you can get your relaxing day sooner rather than later!

No posts of interest from me. It's been a struggle to find time on the computer as well so I haven't been doing much blogging or bloghopping.


DesLily said...

holy moley lady! Dang, I wish I could come up and help! nothing like a good challenge to give you ajada! I do think Rich is right and you have to take one day "off" and relax...stress just makes things worse... so chill out and relax!!

Jean said...

I'm aghast at the mess the previous owners left you. Too bad you couldn't have written cleanliness into the sales contract. That said, I loved the photos of her room that Annie put up on Facebook. As for blogging, you know where to find me ... until Monday, at least, when we head to Oz. There's some good stuff out there and may be more by the end of the day if I get my act together. In the meantime, I have a motorbike to catch. Today I expect to be one of two people on it instead of the one of four I was on Monday. Now, relax! Okay? :-)

Jason Gignac said...

I'm unhealthily fascinated by the sticky goo on the wood floor... I hope it didnt damage the finish! I'm glad you're taking a day for yourself, friend. Boxes and mouse poop have very few virtues, but patience is one - they will wait until you're ready :)

Elizabeth said...

Isn't it amazing how taking time for ourselves, just relaxing,doing something for ourselves is considered a break and not as necessary as all the "jobs". We really need to value the 'self' as important as cleaning mouse poop.... obviously the results are not as visibly obvious but so much more necessary. I am happy you have made the move. A house becomes a home with time and memories and you are already starting those, even if they are the less than pretty ones!!

Kailana said...

oops. Should not have read this post while I was eating... Good luck with everything!

animewookie said...

BASTARDS!!! Seems fitting ;)
Gotta tell you, i'm very proud of your mantra <3
It's true you know. All you can do is your best...let go of the rest. It'll all still be there when you get to it. Accept that mouse shit...probably gotta make an early date with that
Oh, and have I mentioned that you are indeed an inspiration :D You just need to see yourself the way others see you <3

Care said...

HUGS! Ugh, I wish I could come help (easy to offer, huh!?) Anyway, best to you as you make this house a home. Goodness - I can't believe how rude. I wish the moving-fairy would be more helpful.

RELAX and think about me doing jury duty on Thursday. Wish for me an interesting case or early dismissal? :)

And eventually, I do hope to get your new address.

I do not have any interesting posts or amazing books to praise of late. I've been quiet lately.