Okay, so I haven't really been away from it for that long. Maybe a couple of months, though it feels much longer. I think I figured out part of that "much longer" feeling, thanks to my dear friend Ana. I was talking to her about all these thoughts about missing blogging, and about how I just felt sort of lost and frustrated because I could never quite figure out what I wanted my blog to be. And she said something that really hit home. She said that to her, it seemed as if I'd sort of lost my footing when I quit writing at "nothing of importance." And there it was. So simple. She was absolutely right.
I quit writing at "nothing of importance" for a multitude of reasons. Second-guessing that decision now is pointless. I'm not sure why things went haywire after that though. I started new blogs, hoping to make some sort of better new home for myself. One of those situations where you're desperately searching for what's right in front of you.
So here we go again...yep, I'm back, still with nothing of importance to say. :) And this time around, I've made a few promises to myself:
*I can talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about.
*Said another way, I not going to try to make myself fit into any neat category.
*I do not have to make my way through my reader before I'm allowed to post myself.
*And similarly, I am not going to feel guilty when the dreaded "mark all as read" button needs to be used. There will be times in life, such as now, when that happens more frequently than I'd like...but I must learn to deal with it.
*This is it--no starting any new blogs. If I can't make this work for me, then I just need to stop trying.
Home sweet home...I hope this is it.
10 comments:
Welcome home. I have missed you and worried about your silence. I don't really care what you write about; I just want to know that you're doing it since it--the writing--is one of the things that makes Debi Debi. It is good to have you back.
Jean,
Okay, you just said about half a dozen things to make me feel good in that one comment. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! And I've really been missing you, too!
I AM THROWING YOU A PARTY!!!! This fills my heartbwith joy because I have missed you. and it GREAT that you tried a variety of other stuff. To quote all those platitudes that make sensible people groan, "You fail forward to success.". Not that those other blogs are failing but that you EXPERIMENTED and explored and that is awesome. back to being sensible. You and I are not sensible people! Creative, sensitive, questioning, daring and doubting perhaps.... JOYFUL! Embrace yourself and have some fun. whenever I get too critical thinking my blog is silly and unprofessional and I don't think my words make any sense, I just remember I do this for me and that is usually when I get the most back in wonderment and friendshihp. i have so missed you!!! :)
I almost joined tumblr cuz of you but I already have too many directions to spin. :)
A couple months! You've been away for years!!! Or at least it feels like it. I have missed, missed, missed, missed you. Don't put outside pressure on yourself to blog 'regularly', but also please let us know how you and the family are doing once in a while. Did I mention I missed you?
BTW, I left a link in my response to your comment on the Apex review. It is a fun story from last month's Apex that I think you might enjoy.
This makes me happier than you can imagine :D And I love those guidelines! I'm still coming around to NOT feeling like I have to make the rounds before being "allowed" to post myself.
Yay Debi :D Oh I'm so very excited about this blog :D I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog posts...honestly, I just can't express to you enough how much they bring smiles to my face!!! And I love your goals for this blog so much :) They're perfect!!
Care,
In case you couldn't have guessed, you totally made me cry. :) And sheesh, woman, how the hell did you get so wise anyway?!!
Carl,
Okay, did you all just get together and decide to try to make me cry...'cause you all certainly succeeded! But I swear I am going to try to take those words to heart.
And I can't wait to go check out the link! I also can't wait to go pull The Starry Rift off the shelf and read some stories for the Sci-Fi Experience, of which I've experienced none so far. :( But Rich has! Too bad I can't seem to get him to blog about it.
Ana,
It makes me pretty darn happy, too...and I really feel like I have you to thank for it all! But then you're always doing things to make me happy, aren't you? :D And yeah, I think those guidelines were a necessity--why is it we feel the need to put so much pressure on ourselves anyway?!!
Chris,
Awww...thank you. I feel like you just gave me a big old hug! And I loved it!!!
Just saw this for the first time - Welcome back! :)
Thank you, Amanda! It's good to be back. :D
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