After the turmoil that has been our life for the past few months, it's sort of hard to believe that we will again be homeowners in a little more than 24 hours. I'm sure it goes without saying that I'm excited. Whenever I'm showering or driving home from dropping Max off at school or some other such task, I find myself daydreaming about all the setting-up-house and redecorating and putting in of gardens we'll get to do.
I don't think I'm as excited as I should be. I think that I've overplayed the whole "fresh start" idea. I think I've used that concept too many times in an effort to gain some sort of much-craved balance in my life. And I think that maybe in overplaying this card, I've lost some of the ability to believe it can work.
Something else that I fear I've overdone--the apologizing. For not keeping up with email, for not keeping up with commenting on blogs. I don't want the apologies to sound empty, because they are anything but. Maybe I really need to stop apologizing and trust that the people I love so much *know* that I love them...even when I drop the ball. Which I seem to be doing quite frequently as of late.
So anyway, I'll keep striving for that ever-elusive balance. And starting tomorrow, I'll be doing it in a brand new (to us, that is) home.
(Just to give you fair warning: There will likely be lots of before and after pictures as we go about turning this house into our sweet little dream home.)
Just had to share these:
the lovely and talented Pat for Ms. Annie. Pat, she absolutely LOVES them both!!! Thank you, dear lady!!!
And appropo of nothing:
"But Mom, I swear I wasn't digging up the yard you made me promise not to dig up because the lady buying our house wouldn't want a big hole in the back yard."