I mentioned a couple days ago how I was questioning this whole blogging thing. But honestly, all I've been working with in my head about it all is general feelings, a whole lot of squishy-ness with no defined lines. But as so often happens in this wonderful thing called life, something popped up today that helped me paint a clearer picture--this post by Trish.
These were my words a couple days ago: "While I love keeping my own little journal of life, I'm not sure it need to be out there in the world."
Trish's post not only helped me define my own issues, but they also reinforced the underlying feelings. All the talk about number of followers and readership numbers and stats...those conversations have always felt foreign to me. I just don't care about those things. Never have, and I'm guessing that after doing this blogging thing for over 7 years now that's never going to change.
But here's the thing that's hanging me up--maybe I should care. Maybe I don't deserve to be taking up space in the internet world if I don't.
It's not that I regret that I ever started blogging--I don't for a single second! My life has changed because of blogging. My life is so much richer--I've learned so very much, and I've grown so much as a person, and most of all, I've gained the friendship of some of the most incredible people on the planet. I simply cannot imagine my life without the friends I've made through blogging. I can't.
Thing is, I don't need to need to keep a blog to keep those friends. LOL--I'd like to see them try to get rid of me. :P But the point is, I can read blogs without writing one. So is it selfish of me to keep this blog going? Well, yes it is selfish. But is it the good kind of selfish or the bad kind of selfish?
Guess my options boil down to:
1.) Quit blogging period. (But I really don't think I want to do that because it gives me personal satisfaction.)
2.) Try to turn this blog into something worth reading to outsiders. (*sigh* Yeah, I just don't have the time, motivation, or talent to do that.)
3.) Keep on blogging about whatever the hell I want. (But can I learn to live with these guilty feelings of being a waste of space?)
4.) Change it to a private blog. (That way I still get to have my journal but I don't have to clutter up the world with it. Maybe???? the best option.)
I don't know. This is certainly not my swan song here...I just don't have the answers yet. And I really don't want to make any decision final without giving it due thought.