As I stepped into the shower this morning, I realized I needed to shave my legs because I was going to wear shorts today. That simple realization sent me into a flood of tears. It wasn't because I hate shaving my legs or anything, it was just that it was one. more. thing. to. do. When it hit me that I was crying over something so pathetically stupid, it dawned on me (for the hundredth or so time) that things have to change.
Ahhh, but there's the problem. I know things have to change. I even have a doctor's "prescription" for changes I need to make to help me learn to manage my new life with fibromyalgia. I must follow an exercise plan of brisk walking. Check. I must get at least seven hours of sleep every night. Huh? I must reduce the stress in my life. Double huh?
I understand that these things are essential for managing this condition. And I keep telling myself that I will get the hang of this. I will learn to pace myself. I will learn to take a break when I need to. I will learn to let go of some things.
But it's just not happening.
The fact of the matter is that for the past couple weeks the PAIN HAS BEEN WORSE THAN EVER AND HAS BEEN RIDICULOUSLY UNRELENTING and to make it worse, I KNOW IT'S IN GOOD PART MY OWN DAMN FAULT BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET THIS NEW LIFE FIGURED OUT!!!!
The thing is, I know for a fact that I'm far from the only person who has 5,043 obligations. Everyone may have different balls that they're juggling, but most of us are juggling a hefty amount. So why do I feel like I'm the only person who can't keep them all in the air?!! How is it that other people seem to make it look so easy?
Housecleaning is the ball I tend to let fall first, and I can live with that. At least for a while...but it eventually overwhelms me and leaves me feeling more stressed than ever. Second ball that usually falls is my friends...and you know what, that is simply unacceptable. Yes, I get stressed when I see the google reader number inching endlessly upward. But even worse are the unanswered emails, the cards that don't get made and mailed, the packages that sit for literally months waiting to get to the post office, etc. And the failings don't end there...
So I'm begging you, please tell me how you do it. From the simplest organization tricks to your best time-savers...please share!!!
(And btw, thank you for listening to my ridiculous bout of self-pity.)