more good stuff...

Because I need to remember there *is* good stuff. Because being on the lookout for it somehow seems to help. Because it's better than bad stuff.

*sigh* I am so not in a good place right now. But I'm working on it. I know things will get better. I do. But in the meantime, I think I need to use this place to help me focus on the good stuff. Because it really is there, even when it overwhelmingly feels like it isn't. So anyway, for the next little while, that may be all that gets posted here.

*Today was library day. As in the day that Annie volunteers at the library, and I get to hang out there for two hours. We load up our bags to make the most efficient use of our time while there, but it's not as productive for me as it used to be since Gray is now present to provide a healthy dose of interruptions. :) Still, this is one of my favorite parts of our school week. You know, because LIBRARIES = AWESOME!

*Fresh picked garden goodness.

And we didn't even plant cucumbers--just a rogue plant from our compost.













*Chris's apple butter! Mmmmm...

*I read three short, incredibly fun, graphic novels over the weekend while we were off "sort of" camping.

Courtney Crumrin and the Night Things

Courtney Crumrin and the Coven of Mystics

Courtney Crumrin in the Twilight Kingdom

Annie had picked up these books at a used bookstore many moons ago...and when RIP rolled around, she put them in my pile and told me that I *had* to read them. Thank you, Annie! According to whomever decides these things, these are middle grade books. But they are by no means entirely tame. There's delicious darkness within the pages. And I enjoyed every minute of my time with them, more and more so as I read further along. Enough so that I'm really hoping I can come across the next volume more sooner than later.

*Also while pseudo-camping, I finally finished a farmers market bag for us. You know, just as farmers market season is nearing its close for the year. :P (Thanks for modeling for me, Annie.)

Strong Poison...random thoughts...

Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers.

Okay, we all know I couldn't "review" a book to save my life. At least I couldn't review one in any sort of polished, intelligent way. So yes, it's back to those random blatherings for me.

*Super quick "what it's about": Woman on trial for poisoning her former lover. Woman happens to be a writer of detective stories and has just written a book with an eerily similar plot. Hung jury. Determined man decides to prove her innocence before the next trial. He engages some interesting characters to help him. And so on.

*If you want to read a real review, you need go no further than Ana's. It is her I have to thank for this delightful RIP read. And it will be her who continues to pile up blame points as I continue to buy the rest of this series!

*By about the end of the second chapter, I was craving a roaring fire in a big stone fireplace, a comfy chair, a fuzzy blanket to wrap up in, and a big mug of tea. A kitty on the lap wouldn't have hurt either. Yeah, it was just one of those completely comfortable reads. Not quite comfortable as in light and airy, if that makes any sense. I mean, in a sense it was, but at the same time there was plenty to sink one's teeth into, plenty to keep the mind active...while still giving one the feeling that this book was an old friend.

*I was completely taken by surprise by how much this book charmed me. It's not that I expected something stodgy or dense, but I was caught off guard to find myself chuckling aloud on more than one occasion. And the language! Oh my...totally charmed. I can't put my finger on *what* exactly it is that I adore so much about her way with words, but I often just found myself reading passages over again just for the sheer joy of it. Some of it is likely that delightful way of the British, but I'm sure much of it is just pure talent on Sayers' part.

*Rich has decided that he really wants to read this book...and it always makes me giddily happy when we both read the same book. While we're both avid readers, we probably overlap books well less than 10% of the time...so I appreciate the ones we really get to talk about all the more. :)

*I love Miss Climpson. Love her. Love her. Love her.

*Confession: While I'm really, really, really happy I finally read this book, there is a teeny part of me that still bristles at the fact that I didn't start at the "beginning" of the series. :P And since it was you, dear Ana that turned me into such a rebel, I'm counting on you to remind me which book it is that I need to get next.

good stuff...

While it may be premature to say that I've vanquished the self-pity for good, I can say that I'm feeling much better mentally today. And there are just so many things I have to be thankful for...you know, the good stuff.

*After I hit the publish button yesterday, I sort of regretted it. Who wants to let others see them wallowing in self-pity, right? I mean, I was wallowing, but did I really want my friends to see it. Thing is, no one told me to snap out of it. Instead I got supportive comments and emails...and yeah, ended up feeling loved even in a bad moment. Which just added further proof to what I already knew--I have THE BEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY EVER.

*This post. Ummmm...just wow.

*We're leaving to go camping after school today! :D Why? Not that one needs a reason, of course. But in this case it's because my "baby" is turning 9 this weekend! 9-years-old? Seriously? Yeah, time has yet to slow down. Guessing it's never going to. But anyway. Camping was Maxidoodle's request for his birthday weekend, so camping it is. Not just any camping though--it has to be at the place Rich has taken the munchkins the past couple years over spring break. So we're headed for Delaware. Unfortunately, their weather forecast is calling for nothing but rain the entire time...but we'll see how it goes. I've packed a humungous bag of books and some crocheting and some cross-stitching (which I have done in years) and only a very little bit of school work. I plan on using this time to refresh. Yeah, sounds soooooooo good.

*Pinterest. So I resisted joining for a few months, and was rather proud of myself for doing so. :P But then darling Heather started talking about how much she loved it and well, my resistance went right out the door! But I'm so very, very glad it did! I *love* this place!!! It's a happy place. It's so fun to go to your personal boards and see nothing but wonderful things that inspire you! And of course, it's fun to look at others boards and see what inspires them, too. :D

*Ana's done! I'm just this massive ball of happy for her!!! As in, every time I think about it my cheeks start hurting a little because it's hard to wipe the smile off my face! :D

*Despite how draining it is, and despite the fact that the head-start I made for myself in planning and prep is soon going to be gone, homeschooling really is still going pretty smoothly this year. Mornings are possibly the easiest they've ever been in getting everyone ready to go, because this year times are staggered. And because Max usually wants to buy his lunch...expensive, but wow, what a difference it is not have to pack lunches most days.

I know if I sat here longer, I could think of many more things to add to this list. In other words, I have plenty to smile about, and today I am feeling grateful. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

pardon me while I feel sorry for myself...

As I stepped into the shower this morning, I realized I needed to shave my legs because I was going to wear shorts today. That simple realization sent me into a flood of tears. It wasn't because I hate shaving my legs or anything, it was just that it was one. more. thing. to. do. When it hit me that I was crying over something so pathetically stupid, it dawned on me (for the hundredth or so time) that things have to change.

Ahhh, but there's the problem. I know things have to change. I even have a doctor's "prescription" for changes I need to make to help me learn to manage my new life with fibromyalgia. I must follow an exercise plan of brisk walking. Check. I must get at least seven hours of sleep every night. Huh? I must reduce the stress in my life. Double huh?

I understand that these things are essential for managing this condition. And I keep telling myself that I will get the hang of this. I will learn to pace myself. I will learn to take a break when I need to. I will learn to let go of some things.

But it's just not happening.

The fact of the matter is that for the past couple weeks the PAIN HAS BEEN WORSE THAN EVER AND HAS BEEN RIDICULOUSLY UNRELENTING and to make it worse, I KNOW IT'S IN GOOD PART MY OWN DAMN FAULT BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET THIS NEW LIFE FIGURED OUT!!!!

The thing is, I know for a fact that I'm far from the only person who has 5,043 obligations. Everyone may have different balls that they're juggling, but most of us are juggling a hefty amount. So why do I feel like I'm the only person who can't keep them all in the air?!! How is it that other people seem to make it look so easy?

Housecleaning is the ball I tend to let fall first, and I can live with that. At least for a while...but it eventually overwhelms me and leaves me feeling more stressed than ever. Second ball that usually falls is my friends...and you know what, that is simply unacceptable. Yes, I get stressed when I see the google reader number inching endlessly upward. But even worse are the unanswered emails, the cards that don't get made and mailed, the packages that sit for literally months waiting to get to the post office, etc. And the failings don't end there...

So I'm begging you, please tell me how you do it. From the simplest organization tricks to your best time-savers...please share!!!

(And btw, thank you for listening to my ridiculous bout of self-pity.)

The Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle: The Thing Beneath the Bed by Patrick Rothfuss and illustrated by Nate Taylor.

Upon reading Carl's review of this amazing little book, I immediately had to hop over to my library's website to see if they had this book. Lucky for me, I was able to order it from one of the county branches. But even though I've now had it for a week, it wasn't until this evening that I was able to crack it open. But my. oh. my. was it ever worth the wait!

I'm impressed that Carl was able to review this book in the first place. He captured it perfectly. And it couldn't have been easy. Because this book is so deliciously deceptive.

Honestly, I can't add anything to what Carl already wrote so wonderfully. But I just had to say how much I adored this book. Adored it. Adored it. Adored it.

And yeah, perfect for RIP.

one week down...

The first week of school has officially been put to rest. To be honest, I'm amazed at how smoothly things went for Gray and I during his first ever week of homeschooling. He's a bit more exhausting than Annie ever was for a variety of reasons. Okay, more than a bit. But at least I am now confident that we can really make this work.

A few shots from his first week:

something missing...

It hit me the other day just how much I missed having picture books be a part of my daily life. I'm not sure when it happened really, but I guess it was to be expected since "my babies" are far from being babies anymore.

But that doesn't mean we really have to say goodbye to picture books forever. I decided that RIP was the perfect time to reintroduce them, so each week I'm grabbing a few from the library. To be honest, I had no idea how the munchkins were going to react...was I going to get eye-rolling from Annie combined with a chorus of moans from the boys? Thankfully, I didn't. In fact, there wasn't a single complaint to be heard.

First up was Ollie's Halloween by Olivier Dunrea. The story? Well, this is definitely aimed at the very young, and we didn't get much from it. But that mattered not one bit. Because all of us were completely charmed by the artwork. Adorable as freakin' adorable can be. The sort of cuteness that has one wanting to reach through the pages and hold the characters in one's own hands. :) I wish I could have found images on-line to share, but if you can get past Max's goofy face, maybe you can get at least a tiny idea of what it's like from the book cover.

Annie read Annie Was Warned by Jarrett J. Krosoczka. A bit more of a story to this one...a girl who is warned not to go out of Halloween night but chooses to anyway. Again, I'm guessing that the story would be much more appreciated by a younger set. But also again, the art was enough to make us glad we read it.

Monster Mischief by Pamela Jane, with illustrations by Vera Rosenberry, was our favorite by far! Yet another book with awesome art, but this one had us interrupting the story with comments, had us laughing, had us enjoying the rhythm of the story. This was one of those picture books I'd like to own ...simply because it made me happy. :)

tidbits...

*Great first half-week of school all-around. Annie likes her classes. Max said it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. :P And his teacher called just to let us know that he's adjusting to fourth grade wonderfully--"He's great at following directions and listening. He works extremely well with others. And he's just an incredibly sweet kid." Awwww...way to melt a parent's heart. And Gray, the one I was most apprehensive about, did wonderfully! Better than I could have asked for.

*My week ran soooooo much smoother than I'd anticipated. I was really worried that homeschooling two, plus the requirements that go along with active participation in Max's schooling would be more than I could gracefully juggle. I know that there will be weeks (probably many of them) that won't be as bump-free, but I'm so grateful for the start we had. It gives me hope that we can all manage this.

*The work it took to make this week go smoothly (not just lesson-planning, but meal/snack/packed lunches planning and execution, canning, scheduling of outside stuff, etc.) took its toll on my body. By Friday evening I was so physically miserable I just wanted to crawl in a cave. I've not yet learned how to pace myself. How does one do that? Seriously, how? *sigh* And of course, there was loads of cooking to do (partly for the week ahead), cleaning to catch up on, more lesson-planning, laundry, etc.--you know "life"--to get done this weekend. Sleep, as usual, is evasive. All this leaves me currently hating my body...and my body hating me. But I know there's a learning curve here, and over time I'll manage to make what I can better and to accept what I can't. Life is always a work in progress, right?

*Possibly the most amusing/most not-amusing thing to happen this past week occurred last night. We'd all settled in to do a little RIP viewing. After much debate (mostly involving the boys try to convince us to watch movies that are way too gory), we decided to try out an episode or two of Stephen King's Nightmares & Dreamscapes. We successfully made it through the first episode and were about to start the second, when from outside we heard Bacon barking/whining. It was obvious that something was wrong with him...and well, all it took was opening the back door to find out what it was. Silly dog went and got himself sprayed by a skunk. :(

Rich whipped up some "skunk shampoo" and Annie helped give the goofball a bath.

*Now that I've gotten over the back-to-school-end-of-summer funk, I'm starting to enjoy all those signs of fall. Geese honking away on their way south, goldfinch feeding on the coneflower seeds, even the first leaves starting to change.

off to a good start...

I sort of feel like I'm cheating saying that I've finished my first three reads for RIP. I was all but about fifty pages through the first book before RIP started, and the second two are mangas. But already I'm feeling the huge loss of "fun reading" time now that school has started, so I'm just going to take what I can get.

Abandoned by Cody McFayden was my first RIP read, falling in that suspense/thriller type category. This is the fourth book in this series featuring Smoky Barrett. Even at book four, this series has not lost its touch. And by "touch," I mean the ability to totally creep me out and leave me feeling completely unsettled. Every book leaves one feeling as if they know this group of FBI agents even better than before. None are perfect. In fact some of their flaws are hard to get past, and yet these people are all the more real because of them. And yeah, I do like them. But the stories...whoa. Think Criminal Minds on steroids. Seriously, they are that disturbing. So what does it say about me that I get so sucked into these books, that I absolutely never want to put them down. I don't know--after much pondering, I still haven't figured it out. All I know is that I can't wait until the next book is available. :)

Higurashi When They Cry, the Abducted by Demons arc, was disturbing in its own way. These two books cross genres--they are a mystery and/or a horror story and/or supernatural. And that is part of what makes them so fun. It depends on how you read them. The ambiguity is enticing, and it leaves one wondering what it is that is really going on. Is there a curse? Are the residents of a small Japanese town really committing murder? Is the narrator simply going insane? You read them and decide. Annie sort of forced these on me. :P But I'm not at all sorry that she did.

So, where am I heading from here for RIP? Well, I've started (or should I say restarted) reading Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers, though my decreased reading time has only allowed me to get about three chapters in. And thanks to Carl's review, I put The Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle: The Thing Beneath the Bed on hold at the library and was able to pick it up today. Am giddily excited to crack it open! And who knows, maybe this weekend we can even make time for a spooky flick.

Oh, before I forget yet again...could anyone tell me if The Book of Lost Things would be appropriate for RIP? Or is more of a Once Upon a Time kind of book?

and a second first day of school...

So today was the start of new school year for Max. I can't even quite explain how heartbreaking it was sending him off on that bus this morning. I mean, he's my baby! And yes, he's 8-years-old and starting 4th grade so it's not like this is the first time sending him off. But somehow, having him the only one heading off to public school this year just made it hurt all the more. And it didn't help that he really didn't want to go. At all. See for yourself:

These were the absolute best I could do. Thing is, he doesn't want to be homeschooled, so feeling guilty about that is useless. He's not one of those kiddos who absolutely loves school...but he doesn't hate it nearly as much as he sometimes pretends to. I really think the low spirits this morning had more to do with the end of summer than with an absolute dreading of school. There was no fighting, no tantrums, nothing like I became accustomed to with Gray. It was just plain old sadness.

The good news though--he came home happy and even admitted that it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. (Though he wasn't thrilled to get both math and reading homework on the first night. :P )

And it was not only Gray's first day of school, but it was his first day of homeschooling ever. Obvious from these first-day-of-school photos, he was not nearly as upset as his little brother:

To be perfectly honest, as happy and excited as I was to be starting this journey with him, I was also more than a bit apprehensive. Gray can be...well, how shall I put this...obstinate...and argumentative...and horrendously pessimistic. But I needn't have worried, as we had absolutely the best day imaginable! He was upbeat and hard-working and fun to be around. (Having one's beagle and one's blanket surely doesn't hurt.)

I'm not silly enough to think every day will go this well, but it was wonderful to get off on the right foot!

*****
And in other news...Gray got his stitches removed today. One would think this would be good news, but I'm sorry to say Gray came out of there feeling worse about his leg than he has in days. :( His doc told him that it was nowhere near healed yet and that he was going to have to remain on alert taking great care not to have anything hit that spot or it would burst right open as if it had never been stitched to start with. He glued it and put on some steri-strips, hoping that will get him another four or five days worth of healing in. I understand that he wanted to make sure that Gray was careful, but oh my. The poor kid is practically back to being as upset about it as he was when he first got home from the hospital.

*****
Also managed to turn this lovely goodness from our garden (with the addition of an onion, some cilantro, and limes)

...into two pints of canned salsa plus a nice size bowl to eat fresh.

So all in all, a busy productive day. And overall, a pretty good one.

happy new year...

Jean has talked about how her life has tended to revolve around the school-year as opposed to the calendar year. And it's prompted me to just embrace the notion. I mean it is the truth, after all. So today marks the start of the new year!

I'm not sure who was really "happy" about it though. :P

Rich simply couldn't muster up a smile for me as he headed off to start a new semester of classes. (Honestly though, he was just teasing--he actually loves teaching with a passion.)

Annie wasn't happy that her sleeping-till-noon days were over, but she survived. And she even put on an adorable back-to-school outfit despite the fact that this was an at-home day. This semester she has biology and civics here at home and college algebra, literature of horror, and German III at the community college. Not hard to guess what class she's most excited about, is it? :)

Max doesn't head off to 4th grade until tomorrow. And Gray is starting his homeschooling tomorrow as well. Figured it was easier to stagger Annie's and Gray's start days. And as Annie will be off at MCC all day tomorrow, Gray and I will have an uninterrupted day to get started. Well, except for a trip to the doctor to have his stitches removed, that is. :P

In other news, I got to start my "new year" with a visit to the rheumatologist and an official diagnosis of fibromyalgia. While I was still holding out a bit of hope that I was going to get an easier answer (as in something curable), I think I've really spent the past two months coming to terms with it. No, I'm not happy that I have a chronic condition. But if I try to look at the bright side, there *are* some things to be thankful for. For one thing, while some days it might not physically feel like it, there are far worse medical diagnoses out there. This is not life-threatening. Something else I have to be grateful for--I got to live a lot of years before developing it, and many people with fibromyalgia don't get to say that. Anyway, I'm not trying to be all Pollyanna or anything--I know that my life has changed, and I know that there will continue to be some really, really miserable days, but...I'm really trying to stay positive about this. After all, being anything else won't change it, right?

more project progress...

Two weeks worth. Sorry. :P

Mission: 50x50

#2. Visit 50 new places. Both the state of New Hampshire and the state of Maine are new-to-me places to visit.

(New Hampshire)

(Maine)

#3. Visit 50 different parks. Three new ones to add here.

(Odiorne State Park, New Hampshire)

(Rachel Carson Wildlife Refuge, Maine)

(Ferry Beach State Park)

#4. Visit 50 museums. I can't believe this is the first one I'm knocking off this list.

(Seacoast Science Center)

#6. Walk/hike on 50 different trails. A lovely hike at Mendon Ponds Park for Rich's birthday.

(The Quaker Pond Trail)

And a beautiful walk on a beautiful day in Maine.

(The Carson Trail)

#10. Support 50 local independent businesses. Popped into Hyatt's-All Things Creative, a local art supply store, to pick up some clay for an art project Gray's going to do for school.

#12. Try 50 new restaurants. Going on a little mini-vacation certainly helped this one.

(Flatbread Company All Natural Pizza in Portsmouth, NH--it may well be my new favorite restaurant of all time, good food and good worldview)

(Margaritas in Portsmouth, NH)

(Maine Diner in Wells, ME)

#38. Read 50 books borrowed from someone else. Actually added on a pile here. I read both The Darker Side and Abandoned by Cody McFayden, both borrowed from Mom. And I read both Higurashi When They Cry, Abducted by Demons Arc, Volumes 1 and 2, both borrowed from Annie.

#39. Read 50 classics. Not sure if anyone else considers this a classic, but since this is my list, I get to decide, right? And I've decided that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles does indeed qualify. :)

#44. Read 50 science/nature books. As with The Hound of the Baskervilles, I read this for school, but I don't suppose that means it shouldn't count, right? Science Detectives: How Scientists Solved Six Real-Life Mysteries by the editors of YES Magazine.

#49. Take pictures of 50 different animals in the wild. I've no idea how I've missed checking things off this one before, because I've definitely taken several pics that would count for this since I started. Oh well. I'll count this one as number 1 checked off the list. So a seagull isn't all that exciting, but it was pretty cool that we saw him catch this crab and proceed to rip it apart and eat it.

Mission: Tackle the TBR Pile

This is not going well. Not well at all. My last update on Aug. 10th had me at 1,199 books. Now I've got 1,252. I'm blaming Chris. :P

And well, that's it--I didn't accomplish anything else off any of my other projects lists. Oh well.